Motivational Power Quote
Defusing a Hostile Negotiator
“Am I not
destroying my enemies when I make
friends of them.”
Abraham Lincoln 1809 - 1865, 16th U. S.
President
As I see it. . . . . . . .
Defusing a hostile negotiator
You negotiate everyday of your life in
our personal relationships, in business and in almost every aspect of our life.
Hostile or intimidating negotiating is a
strategy. It can be called . . . . negotiating by bullying.
The person that’s doing the bullying is
aggressive in the relationship
. . . .
and is trying to intimidate the other person into becoming submissive.
If they can achieve that position in the negotiations they will control . . . .
the other person and the negotiating process and the likely outcome.
You see that type of behavior in
negotiations all the time. You also see that strategies being used by attorneys
in questioning witnesses and in their attempt to intimidate the witness.
The hostile negotiator relays on
aggressiveness and intimidation to control the negotiations.
They attack the person and not address
the issues.
You defuse the hostile negotiator by
remaining calm . . . . and not falling into their traps and not being baited
into confrontation. Don’t allow the hostile negotiator to intimidate or
pressure you into concessions.
When the hostile negotiator is making statements
and asking question at the same time or asking you for an answer to a multiple
question, they are trying to confuse you. Ask them to restate or repeat the
question. Also ask them for additional information or ask them explain what
they asking you. Tell them that you don’t understanding what they are asking
you.
They will also make statements or ask
question with mixed messages and by doing this they are trying to compromise
you or you answer. Be very careful in responding to this type of statement or
questions as asked. Simple state that what you’re being asked are several questions
that are unrelated with several answers. Ask them to restate or ask the
question one at a time so you can answer or to respond to them one at a time to
give them the information that they are requesting.
A hostile negotiator in normally a type
A personally type and will push for fast answers to remain in control or to
have you error in your response. By
asking questions you throw off the type A personally game plan of intimidation.
Before you answer the question of a
hostile negotiator pulse and silently look the person in the eye and count to 5
slowly. By pulsing you will throw a
hostile negotiator off their game plan and they will become frustrated and lose
their composure.
You will witness the following; they
will start to answer their questions. You will see them to start to speak
faster without thinking; they will just be reacting to their frustration. They
will increase their aggressiveness and as a result lose complete control of the
negotiating process.
They will become confused in their strategies
and some will just blow up and look really bad.
Defusing a hostile negotiator . . . . is
achieved by remaining calm and in control of your emotions. It’s remaining
focused on achieving a satisfactory conclusion to the negotiations and not taking
things personally. Keep your composure and don’t allow the negotiations to
become personal. Keep the negotiations focused on the issues and work towards a
successful win – win agreement.
©2013 Lou Ludwig, Sales and Management
Consultant Success Coach, Speaker, Trainer and Author
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